Capture Your Grief - Day 21. Relationships

This topic asks the following questions: "How have your relationships changed? Did you lose any? Have you made new friendships?" and this is something that I actually have been thinking about non stop since the moment I got back to reality feeling when we went home from the hospital.

Yes, a lot of my relationships have changed and not all for the better or necessarily the worst, but everything has indeed changed. There have been people who I've known all my life and considered very good friends who have just disappeared, been overly cautious about reaching out (I think), so they don't and the ones that have really been out of line and have hurt us (I know they haven't meant to, but they have) by not thinking a little bit before saying or writing certain things. Then there have been people whom I thought were only friendly acquaintances or just new friends, and they have ended up being some of the most thoughtful people that fight to remind me of how loved we are and keeping Olivia's memory alive. Of course, I also have my friends and friends that are like family, I never doubted they were all going to be there in their own way, and they have been. I think it's been hard for some of them because they suffer with and for us , so they focus a bit too much on them on what they need instead of us and what we need from them. Yes, it is very selfish, but even though I know everyone misses Olivia because she was wildly anticipated and loved, it is really just me and Pierre who live this 24/7; we don't think about this all the time or a little bit every day, this is our life and most of the time (at least for now) it sucks and hurts.

But, let's not finish on a sour note. I have gained some wonderful relationships and not all have been from new friends. Losing Olivia has really shown me a new side of people and has of course brought me some completely new and amazing people. Don't get me wrong, I would give back all this new friendships for one more second with Olivia (or maybe all her life!), but at least we are lucky enough that she left us some wonderful people to brave the storm of our new lives with.

This was a picture sent by my friend Cat whom I met thanks to Olivia on our pregnancy yoga classes and who has gladly stayed on to be a friend for life. They went to visit Olivia on a random day and just told me after... It is gestures like this that make our hearts warm and our faces smile!