I realise that today is supposed to be the last day of Capture Your Grief, but I was traveling and wasn't in the perfect place to do this thoughtfully all the time. So, I will write a bit more often but I will finish this later this week and not today.
So, we are supposed to share about our family and how it looks like now; Carly also reminds us that family doesn't have to be blood and that is something I wholeheartedly agree with. I feel like I have many families: my blood (the one that I was born into), my friends (which are the family members I've chosen) and the family that Pierre and I are creating. They are all vital to my existence and I know each member knows how important they are to me and how much I love them - Even when I only get to see some of them once a year if I'm lucky due to Venezuelans being spread around the world.
I want to focus on the common denominator in all my families for this post, and the one that I have an actual key role in forming: Pierre + Mariana + Olivia = Family. One of the biggest pains I have is that there is no picture of us and Olivia together (even though we took them, but that is a story for another time), I will never be able to see me holding her and even though Pierre holding her is one of the best memories in life, it is that, a memory... So, I have to actually imagine how the picture would've looked and how we would've looked like together. Yes, I know this is something material and that she is bigger than all of that... but, you'd be surprised how much it hurts not being able to see us as a family.
Pierre and I are and will forever be family, I hope that our love stays as strong forever and that we fulfill the pact of dying at the same time when we are old and in our sleep. But, as I've harshly found out, life doesn't always go as planned and anything can be wiped in a second. That being said, Pierre, Olivia and I will always be family. She made us parents and that is a bond that can't and won't be broken. Of course I wish with all my heart that we are lucky enough to have more children and that they get to stay with us, but the first major step towards that will ALWAYS be Olivia, and she is our first daughter and hopefully she will one day also be a big sister.